Music: To listen or not to listen...
I have just deleted 600 songs from my music library. A very hard thing to do. These past couple of weeks I have really been struggling with whether or not I should be listening to some of the music that I was. I came to the point where I really began to wonder to myself what part should music play in one's life and what kind of music should that be. I've come to the conclusion that any music with a beat is from the devil!! Well... no, not quite, but almost... ;-)
It started a couple of weeks ago when I began wondering whether groovin' with John and Jeff's rap was a participation in music that was evil (some or most of it is, the rap, that is). So I began a serious introspection into myself and what the Christian attitude is towards music. I went to confession and told the priest about my dilemma, he didn't really address music per se, but all he said was that Christ is the good shepherd and He also calls us to be shepherds (i.e. leaders). I felt that God was speaking to me, which He was and that I needed to really discern what God would want me to be listening to and how I should be His witness. I was about to go home and just go delete happy, but then I began thinking whether I might be going overboard and perhaps there were some songs that have some merit to them and didn't deserve to be thrown out with the rest. So I decided to do some research online regarding Catholic culture and today's music, in particularly rap and rock (and also jazz). I didn't find a whole lot. Most of it was denouncing music that I've always rejected such as hard rock (e.g. Linkin Park's "Crawling"), metal, and rap such as Eminem.
The stuff I was really struggling with were certain songs by Usher, Nelly, and some others that I found myself really liking that I had never really liked or listened to before. There were also other songs that I liked, but at the same time I knew I shouldn't like, so I wouldn't listen to them, such as the Killers and some other rap songs by Outkast and Usher for example.
One point in my struggle that really helped bring things into focus was during one of my Philosophy of Love classes. I knew that if anyone could help me understand what music is all about and how it relates to the human soul it would be none other than the great Dr. Fedoryka. Anyways, his comments were very insightful and helped me a lot. He didn't talk for very long about it (because it was rather off-topic), but it also made me recall some past intuitions I've had, but am not able to put into words. He said that music like rock and rap are not inherently evil, but they do tend to pull the soul down as opposed to some symphonies or operas that really make you feel like you are soaring. That insight really helped me see what the essential thing about discerning what music I want to be listening to. There is music that is not really bad, but sort of pulls you down to the level of the profane and the vulgar, not necessarily evil, but still not something you want to make a habit of listening to. That is another key point I think. Perhaps now and then it's fine to listen to some of these songs that aren't quiet Mozart, but are not on the other side of the spectrum with satanic, heavy metal, and evil rap. Folk music, country, jazz, some rock, possibly some rap or R&B is fine now and then, but nothing you want to make a habit of listening to. Much of this "intermediary" music "dissolves the sinews of the soul". What do I mean by that? It kind of saps the strength of the soul to stand upright, if you see what I'm saying. So anyways, what did I do then?
I took a few days where I really was self-conscious and aware of how music was affecting me and I cut back a lot on the music that I thought I shouldn't have as my "habit music". I thought I'd still keep it for the occasional time when it wouldn't hurt to listen to though. That changed at 7;30pm this evening though. What pushed me over the edge was I realized that I really need to be serious about being a saint (especially if the end of the world is coming in the next couple of decades). I realized that I have a lot of music illegally from Kazaa and really it is not just that I have some of that music. Going to libraries and ripping a bunch of CDs also constitutes music I shouldn't really have. I've always had a strange feeling when I've tried to justify my possession of these songs, but I just came to the point where I said "you know what? I don't need this music. I can live just fine without it. Sure, I might like it, but it's not like I'm going to die. Why am I so attached to it? I grew up without it. Even if I like it and it isn't really that bad, who's to say I can't make it a sacrifice to our Lord?" So in addition to deleting much music because it was music I did not want to make my "habit music", most of it I didn't even own lawfully. So I made the plunge and deleted approximately 600 songs. Since it was very hard at some points and I found myself still reserving some music that I really liked and was didn't really want to let go of (i.e. Cranberries, Usher, Sixpence, in particular) I didn't want to hold anything back. I am making a total commitment here. (N.B. Music like the Cranberries and Sixpence I don't think is all that bad, but I know I can listen to occasionally on CD or from Tommy. I just didn't want it to be my "habit music" like I said. But while it was very hard to click on the permanently delete button for certain music, it was also an incredibly liberating experience. It felt like I was taking a deep breath and a certain weight was lifted from my spirit. I was breaking off my attachments to this music and felt like what I was doing was right. Through it all I kept looking up to picture of Christ above my desk and I felt His pleasure. I really felt like He was right there with me when I did all of it.
So that's my story. I know it's kind of a personal (not really in the private sense, but in the sense that it's really only concerns me), but hey, that's what this blog is for. I am writing for you guys, but at the same time this is not just a list of events in my life, it also about my mental life, thus the blog's name: Muse. I do hope, however, that you guys might reflect on the music you are listening to and determine whether it is really stuff you want to be your "habit music". Over and out.
It started a couple of weeks ago when I began wondering whether groovin' with John and Jeff's rap was a participation in music that was evil (some or most of it is, the rap, that is). So I began a serious introspection into myself and what the Christian attitude is towards music. I went to confession and told the priest about my dilemma, he didn't really address music per se, but all he said was that Christ is the good shepherd and He also calls us to be shepherds (i.e. leaders). I felt that God was speaking to me, which He was and that I needed to really discern what God would want me to be listening to and how I should be His witness. I was about to go home and just go delete happy, but then I began thinking whether I might be going overboard and perhaps there were some songs that have some merit to them and didn't deserve to be thrown out with the rest. So I decided to do some research online regarding Catholic culture and today's music, in particularly rap and rock (and also jazz). I didn't find a whole lot. Most of it was denouncing music that I've always rejected such as hard rock (e.g. Linkin Park's "Crawling"), metal, and rap such as Eminem.
The stuff I was really struggling with were certain songs by Usher, Nelly, and some others that I found myself really liking that I had never really liked or listened to before. There were also other songs that I liked, but at the same time I knew I shouldn't like, so I wouldn't listen to them, such as the Killers and some other rap songs by Outkast and Usher for example.
One point in my struggle that really helped bring things into focus was during one of my Philosophy of Love classes. I knew that if anyone could help me understand what music is all about and how it relates to the human soul it would be none other than the great Dr. Fedoryka. Anyways, his comments were very insightful and helped me a lot. He didn't talk for very long about it (because it was rather off-topic), but it also made me recall some past intuitions I've had, but am not able to put into words. He said that music like rock and rap are not inherently evil, but they do tend to pull the soul down as opposed to some symphonies or operas that really make you feel like you are soaring. That insight really helped me see what the essential thing about discerning what music I want to be listening to. There is music that is not really bad, but sort of pulls you down to the level of the profane and the vulgar, not necessarily evil, but still not something you want to make a habit of listening to. That is another key point I think. Perhaps now and then it's fine to listen to some of these songs that aren't quiet Mozart, but are not on the other side of the spectrum with satanic, heavy metal, and evil rap. Folk music, country, jazz, some rock, possibly some rap or R&B is fine now and then, but nothing you want to make a habit of listening to. Much of this "intermediary" music "dissolves the sinews of the soul". What do I mean by that? It kind of saps the strength of the soul to stand upright, if you see what I'm saying. So anyways, what did I do then?
I took a few days where I really was self-conscious and aware of how music was affecting me and I cut back a lot on the music that I thought I shouldn't have as my "habit music". I thought I'd still keep it for the occasional time when it wouldn't hurt to listen to though. That changed at 7;30pm this evening though. What pushed me over the edge was I realized that I really need to be serious about being a saint (especially if the end of the world is coming in the next couple of decades). I realized that I have a lot of music illegally from Kazaa and really it is not just that I have some of that music. Going to libraries and ripping a bunch of CDs also constitutes music I shouldn't really have. I've always had a strange feeling when I've tried to justify my possession of these songs, but I just came to the point where I said "you know what? I don't need this music. I can live just fine without it. Sure, I might like it, but it's not like I'm going to die. Why am I so attached to it? I grew up without it. Even if I like it and it isn't really that bad, who's to say I can't make it a sacrifice to our Lord?" So in addition to deleting much music because it was music I did not want to make my "habit music", most of it I didn't even own lawfully. So I made the plunge and deleted approximately 600 songs. Since it was very hard at some points and I found myself still reserving some music that I really liked and was didn't really want to let go of (i.e. Cranberries, Usher, Sixpence, in particular) I didn't want to hold anything back. I am making a total commitment here. (N.B. Music like the Cranberries and Sixpence I don't think is all that bad, but I know I can listen to occasionally on CD or from Tommy. I just didn't want it to be my "habit music" like I said. But while it was very hard to click on the permanently delete button for certain music, it was also an incredibly liberating experience. It felt like I was taking a deep breath and a certain weight was lifted from my spirit. I was breaking off my attachments to this music and felt like what I was doing was right. Through it all I kept looking up to picture of Christ above my desk and I felt His pleasure. I really felt like He was right there with me when I did all of it.
So that's my story. I know it's kind of a personal (not really in the private sense, but in the sense that it's really only concerns me), but hey, that's what this blog is for. I am writing for you guys, but at the same time this is not just a list of events in my life, it also about my mental life, thus the blog's name: Muse. I do hope, however, that you guys might reflect on the music you are listening to and determine whether it is really stuff you want to be your "habit music". Over and out.
posted by Matthew at 11:08 PM
12 Comments:
Jars of Clay, almost all "Christian Rock", Lonely, U Got It Bad, Burn, All My Life, Cranberries, All of Sixpence but two songs (Melody of You, and With Every Breath), Jennifer Knapp, All my country except some Allison Krauss that I bought, 98 Degrees, Michelle Branch, Avril, and even a lot of classical that I had ripped from library CDs. So... it's gone.
Gee, I just assumed you deleted all that Mahler stuff. Whenever, I hear Mahler, it seems like hell. ;-)
Mahler is actually better that he sounds... ;-)
See Johnny? =D Mahler is a master of evoking different emotions... he transports you to different worlds. Any works that you like in particular?
All in all, some very interesting and compelling thoughts. One thing I'm a little unclear on though: did you delete music, such as Jars of Clay, because it wasn't edifying or because the versions you had were from Kazaa, etc.?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The reason I removed Jars of Clay in particular was that I hardly ever listen to them and thought what the heck. As far as being edifying, I thought they were pretty borderline and since I had considered taking them off my computer even before this whole dilemma surfaced I just thought 'what the heck...'
So, even though you wouldn't want it to be your "habit" music, you wouldn't mind dancing to Jazz or big band or rock, would you? Just wondering, because I'm going to try to start up a swing dnace group when I get back.
btw, I may not fully agree with the principles behind your decision, but i greatly respect the fact that you could make such a choice. Cutting out all that "disordered music," (as we learn it is in Junior year in our Music class at TAC) would definitely be a difficult thing to do.
No, not at all. I still would like to enjoy the music every now and then. Swing dancing is an area I still have yet to become familiar with.
When you say you disagree with the principles behind the decision, what precisely do you mean?
Hmm, first of all, I have yet to be convinced that downloading music is wrong, and also I think that some modern music is really not that disordered.
Nick, not sure what you mean. Are you saying that you aren't convinced that downloading music from Kazaa is wrong?
Assuming that you mean 'downloading music from Kazaa'... There are two cases to be made against it. First is that the act is objectively stealing (a subset of this case could be that while the act of unlawful downloading perhaps might not be stealing, the permenant holding of the songs could be considered stealing). The second is that aside from whether or not the unlawful copying and downloading of music is objectively stealing, it is against the law, which does have legitimate authority over us. It is a just positive law that protects the intellectual property of men and women. To disobey the just authority of the state is morally wrong.
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